I encountered the same issue at the beginning of the school year. The first thing I did was explain to my para the expectations that I have set for myself as the classroom teacher. I also explained to her that we needed to be on one accord, so the students will understand that we are a team working on the common goal of preparing our students to be academically and behaviorally successful. Then I ask her not to take on the role of "friend" with the students, due to their lack of boundaries. I explained to her that our students filters are very low to none, and acting as a friend to them could create a situation that is perceived as inappropriate and that allows students to feel that they can cross a line that they should not cross with an adult. I also made sure that she had very defined task and outcomes that had to be completed by the end of each class period, which left her no time to play with students. When students would begin playing with her or say something that I felt was inappropriate, I would reiterate that we do not talk or play with adults in that manner, which reinforced my expectations to my students and the para. Once I addressed the issue with her, it took about two weeks to train her and my students on the expectations for appropriately interacting with with the adults/students in the classroom.

I would would have a conversation about the rules and expectations that were given to students at the beginning of the year and how you all can work together to ensure that there is consistency. If you know that she will be part of your class next semester/year, you might invite her to help come up with them so she feels ownership.

This is difficult because I don't think there is a way to approach this without hurting feelings. No matter what you say, the para will be hurt because he/she genuinely thinks that he is doing the best practice possible. One approach is to talk to the para and explain what you are seeing happening. For instance, you could approach the topic from the view point of your first year teaching or prior para jobs. I would explain, "When I was a para, I found that the more casual I am with students, the less they will respond in the long run" or something along those lines. Another way would be to simply explain that you need more help with your lessons and really get the para involved in the hands-on presenting parts of the lessons so that there is little down time to socialize with the students.

I would meet with the para and ask her to follow the rules and procedures. If the actions continue I would speak with administration about the para and ask that a new para be assigned to my classroom.

I would try to have a friendly conversation with the para-pro. Tell her that there are some behaviors you are seeing from the students that are unacceptable. Ask her to help you come up with some ways to guide these students down the right path. The para-pro may not even be aware that her actions are causing inappropriate behaviors from the students.

Hurt feelings may or may not occur when discussing expectation with the Para. Although it is important to have a good rapport with your Para the student's needs are more important. Have a plan of expectations in writing for the students, the teacher (yourself), and the Para, and explain that this is what is needed for students to reach their learning goals. Let the Para know when she/he is being effective with the students and remind the Para when she/he is doing a good job, and thank the Para for doing a good job.

In an effort to avoid hurt feelings, remind the para that it is most beneficial for the students that she not do this. Perhaps she doesn't even know how her actions are affecting the class. Remind her it is important that students follow a routine, and these types of intermittent allowances are not helpful in establishing a routine. Keeping it about the students, rather than making it personal can make is easier on both of you.

You need to be blunt with the para on what your expectations are in the classroom. Let her know that her actions are disrupting your classroom routine and that you and her need to be on the same page. If she does not change, I would contact administrator and see about getting her replaced.

This is a common problem in schools. Whenever the para comes through make sure that students are on topic, and make sure to remind them during this time. Maybe the para will even get the hint. If it continues I would just have a quick talk to them, and mention that the class becomes distracted during this time. Or even if you could have the kids line up at the door, so that she does not have to walk through.

With this situation, you may want to have a sit down with the para and a person from administration. Try not to approach the situation in a punitive manner, but rather a concerned approach. Explain to administration that you both need support and assistance on implementing an effective co-teaching model. This way, the para has an opportunity to explain her side and you are able to express your concerns with a third ear who just happens to be administration.