Case
Teacher-Parent Relationship

I am a fairly young teacher, and I teach in the same high school I graduated from. Therefore, I know a lot of the parents of the students I teach and coach. I had a relationship with the parents prior to teaching their kids. Therefore, there have times where that parent comes up to me and asks me about a student other than their own because their child is about to start dating them or hanging out with them. Unfortunately, I have to tell these parents that I cannot discuss with them another student that is not their own. How can I express this to the parents without straining the relationship that I have had with them for many years prior?

Posted on: 10/18/15 | Views: 1077
Solution #1
Top Solution
I moved out of the town I grew up in because of issues like this. It is very hard to have a professional relationship with people that you grew up with, because they knew you before you were a professional. I would simply tell them that you cannot discuss other peoples' children because of legal and confidentiality issues. They should understand. Make it clear that you value the relationship with them, but that you cannot risk your job or the privacy of the other students.

Even though you feel uneasy about the measures you have taken to stop this behavior so far, it seems to me that you have done the right thing. This solution, sharing that you do not wish to harm the current status of your friendship, but also that you cannot disclose that kind of information, is really the best. Is those asking are really your friends (no matter how casual the friendship is) they will understand and appreciate your professionalism.

I agree. If they don't understand and keep trying to overstep your boundaries, the relationship is probably not a great one anyways.

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Solution #2
If I was in your shoes, I would explain to the parents that I have to separate your professional life and my personal life. I would assure them that it was nothing against them, and I would say the same to other parents to protect their child as well.
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Solution #3
You can simply respond with a very vague answer. You can also let them know that you can't disclose that information but should anything arise that might be a danger to either child you will notify them.
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Solution #4
Remind the parents about confidentiality as a teacher. The parents should understand and this should not strain any relationship
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Solution #5
I think this is a difficult situation where as teachers it is forbidden to talk about other students; however, I understand how parents can be concerned about their child/adolescent hanging out with a new friend. I think I would suggest that they meet that student's parents so they can decide if they want their child to be involved in a friendship with the other student or not.
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Solution #6
Just explain to the parents that you are no longer a student there and you cannot discuss information about other students.
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Solution #7
the best thing to say when they ask questions about another student is "I don't know much about him/her".

If you have a relationship with the parents prior to teaching, then chances are that you may know the student, therefore, this can send a message that you are not being honest about not knowing much about a particular student when in reality you do.

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