Case
Too Touchy

I have a student who is very sweet but insists on being too touchy to everyone around him. It is most of the time just hugging and such but it is sometimes hitting or kicking (in a playful way). He is a very affectionate boy and he means well, but I know it makes some other students uncomfortable and I don't know the best way to handle it because I don't want his feelings to be hurt but he needs to respect others space.

Posted on: 10/10/16 | Views: 1414
Solution #1
Top Solution
This is a perfect way to teach consent! Affectionate students are wonderful but they need to be aware that others may not want to be shown affection physically. I suggest establishing a general rule about personal space and teach why it is important to respect others space.

I agree with this solution. Teaching the whole class, so you don't single out the one student, about the idea of 'personal space' and establishing a 'keeping hands and feet to ourselves' rule would need to be implemented.

i agree, have a rule about personal space.

This is a good solution. The teacher is able to provide the student with the reasons why they should not be touching everyone without permission, and allows the entire class to learn what it means to respect personal space. I also feel this is important because children who learn to respect other's space will also learn to respect their own personal space.

Wow! I agree that this is a wonderful way to take a minute to teach consent. I would do exactly this.

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Solution #2
I think what you said is perfect! Explain to him you appreciate that he is a friendly individual, but we aren't all the same, or express ourselves the same way, and that's okay. Remind him of the rule (that I only assume you have in place) to keep his hands, feet, and objects to himself. Also, offer him other ways to show appreciation for other individuals, so he can still express his affection in an appropriate manner.
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Solution #3
I would first remind the student to keep his hands and feet to himself (I'm sure that is a rule somewhere). Be sure he knows the rules and expectations and explain to him why we keep our hands to ourselves at school. If the problem continues, you could try implementing a behavior management plan to correct the problem.

I do not think a behavior plan is necessary. I do not think this is the best solution. Perhaps just talking with the student and letting them know it is not okay would work fine.

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Solution #4
As a substitute teacher I've come across this problem when the student always wants to hug me. At first she caught me off guard and I quickly moved to the "side hug." I then asked her to stop and try a "finger tap," where she would put up her pointer finger and I would tap hers with my pointer finger, and we would "pretend that was a hug." It seemed to work since it was the sense of showing affection that mattered to her, and that "finger tap" symbolized the same affection.
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Solution #5
One general class rule should be, students keep their hands and feet to themselves at all times. Make sure the student knows the rule, and explain the consequence for that rule. Explain to this student why this rule is important to them and to others.
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Solution #6
This could stem from a cultural belief. If this is the case, it is important to respect these beliefs. I would suggest teaching the child other ways to show affection since not everyone likes being touched all the time. Teach the students that other students have beliefs as well and they may be different, so he has to respect their beliefs as well.
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Solution #7
I would teach this student about boundries and about how some people do not like others to be inside their bubbles.
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Solution #8
I would pull him aside and explain to him that sometimes others do not want to be touched. I would explain that he is not in trouble but others do not want him being so affectionate. I would explain that it is okay to do at home but at school we cannot be so touchy.
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Solution #9
I would suggest re-establishing a classroom rule, one that discuss the value of personal space and how everyone is entitled to their own and that we shouldn't invade each other's personal space unless it's asked or agreed upon.
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Solution #10
Offer solutions for touch that are not super involved, high fiving, fist bumping, etc.
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Solution #11
Explain the student that while its ok to be affectionate, there are boundaries.
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Solution #12
The "personal space" technique is perfect in this situation, even though he is doing no harm, however like you said some students do become uncomfortable. Letting this child learn that others need personal space too will teach this student that he or she needs to consider other peoples feelings and wishes when it comes down to situations like this.
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Solution #13
I have had this issue in the classroom, we solved the problem by instating a high-five rule or asking permission to give a hug, if they ask and the other student says no they have to accept it.
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Solution #14
I would explain to him that some students and adult do not like to be touched and that you need to be respectful on touching.
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Solution #15
I loved the idea of teaching about consent or affection. Younger grades can be a read aloud and older grades can have a discussion. I also think it's important to have a hands and feet rule in place and allow maybe just fist pumping. Make sure you are consistent with everyone, don't allow some but allow others.
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Solution #16
Remind students that one of the main rules in school is to keep their hands to themselves. Without bringing them down, tell them that some students need personal space.
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Solution #17
I would start with a group discussion about personal space that way the student doesn't feel singled out. I would emphasize on how it is great to be affectionate and there for others, but some people may need their own personal space. Tell your students to ask first before going to pat, hug, etc. their peer. If the student still continues to be touchy, then I would pull them to side and discuss with them privately.
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Solution #18
In this situation, I would explain to the student that in school you keep your hands to yourself. Yes, he may mean well... But making students feel uncomfortable isn't okay.
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Solution #19
Depending on the age of the student, I would maybe set aside a time of the day where the students give you a hug. Try chalking it up to another reason, but explain that we need to save the hugs for one "big" time to give hugs, such as before they leave for specials or to go home.
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Solution #20
I understand your situation. I have been in the same situation myself. I think the idea that of personal space will be a great idea! You can explain that to the whole class and then if he tries to do something you can remind him the rule. Also, the finger tap was a great idea! That will be perfect. He still gets affection from you but is more like a symbolic thing.
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Solution #21
I would just ensure that a "keep your hands to yourself" rule is apart of your classroom rules. That way, you can simply ask him to follow the classroom rules and to please keep his hands to himself. Another way could be to send a note home so that maybe his parents may talk to him about this issue. Let him know that not everyone is okay with hugging and that they need their own space.
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Solution #22
I would incorporate a brief lesson in the classroom on the same day an incident has occurred involving this particular student. A simple video or talk with the students about affection and personal space. Let them voice how they feel about having others too close or vice versa. I also find quick videos about these topics help also and can get the ball rolling while also being informational.
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Solution #23
I would go over the rules of the classroom daily. One of these rules would of course be to keep your hands and feet to yourself. Thinking of a fun way to review these rules, like a song or chant, may make it more tolerable and it will sink in with your students. If you continue to have a problem, seeking help from a source at school is a great idea.
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Solution #24
I think that the rules of keeping hands and feet to yourself should be gone over daily. Also, possibility have the child bring in a stuffed bear? Consider getting the child tested , is there something wrong? Knowing if it emotional, or cognitive or physical issue will help you deal with it the best way.
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Solution #25
I would pull him to the side and explain to him that he should keep his hands and feet to himself. It's nice to be affectionate but some people don't like being touched. The best way to respect others space is to keep his affection to himself unless his classmates ask for a hand shake or dap.
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Solution #26
Sit down and talk to the student and remind him that some students may not be as lovey as he is. Remind him that it is an AMAZING quality, and not to take offense.
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Solution #27
I would pull him aside in class and tell him to keep his hands and feet to himself. I would also explain to him that we have to be careful not to spread germs to each other.
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Solution #28
Tell him it is okay to give hug and so however, sometimes he is making people feel weird and awkward. He will probably understand and stop.
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Solution #29
I would talk to the student and possibly their parents about the situation. I would tell him that not everyone likes to be touched. I hope this helps.
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