Case
Divorce

Child is acting out due to the recent divorce of his parents. He says he is a bad kid. What can I do to help him?

Posted on: 03/05/20 | Views: 465
Solution #1
Top Solution
Coming from a divorced family, all I can say is to reassure him that the reason for his parents divorce is not because of anything that he did. This was something that I struggled with a lot after my parents divorce and it was nice to have reassurance from my teachers and other adults that there was nothing I could do to prevent it and that I had someone to talk to whenever I was feeling down. There was also a song called "When You Love Someone" by James TW that really helped me to understand better what was going on between my parents. I hope this helps some!

In elementary school we had a guidance councilor and each week i would go with a small group of other students and it was scheduled and i had a special rainbow pass and each week our counselor would read us books or use puppets to talk to us about divorce. I would see if the school has something like this. I think teachers take on so much and this is a tough topic for so many kids. Of course in class I would reassure them that in this class they are wonderful and try to references things they are good at in school. This kind of comments we have control over and the ones at home we don't.

I think this is a possible solution to the problem.

This is definitely a safe and efficient way to approach this situation. I would just be careful not to overstep.

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Solution #2
As mentioned before, it's helpful to reassure the student that he hasn't done anything wrong and that it's not his fault that his parents divorced. Providing constant reassurance and acknowledging good behavior could be helpful here. If your school has a school psychologist or guidance counselor, it could be helpful to reach out to them as well in order to help him.
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Solution #3
Make sure that your student understands that you are willing to listen to him. Make him aware that there are other adults who would love to speak with him as well. Make sure to praise him for jobs well done within the classroom pertaining to behavior and academics. Create some lessons catering to his interests to excite and distract him from the struggles he has going on at home. Make sure he understands that he is valued within the classroom.
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Solution #4
I agree that reassurance that you do not think the child is a bad kid is important. However, I think the parents should be contacted immediately, the parents should be made aware of his internalization of blame in this scenario so that they can address these issues at home as well, as ultimately that is what is triggering this student. Additionally, I would try to provide him with some sort of activity that could serve as an outlet for his emotions, whether it be journaling, writing poetry, creating art, etc. Also, it could be beneficial to provide him with a quiet space in the classroom that he can go and calm down if he is feeling overwhelmed by his emotions as opposed to acting out in that moment.
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Solution #5
Make sure your student knows that you're here for them and that they can trust you if they want to talk about their feelings. Also providing resources to the student for children coping with divorce. If the acting out continues and the divorce seems to be effecting his mental health and his school work, try reaching out to the parents to have a conference about how the divorce is effecting the student.
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Solution #6
Reassurance and acknowledgment are the two most important things the teacher can do. Remind him that it is not his fault what is happening between his parents. I would send home notes to both parents to tell them how excellent their son is doing in my class. I would also speak with the guidance counselor to see if it would be an option for him to speak with them. It is always good to have someone outside of the closer group to him to talk to about any issue he has.
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Solution #7
I would reassure the student that he is not a bad kid. I may even suggest reaching out to the parents and discuss the effect it's having on their childs self esteem and academic performance. I would suggest doing it extremely politely and do each parents seperately, but it is possible they do not realize the effect it is having. Self awareness on their part may help remedy the issue.
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Solution #8
I would pull the child aside in private and explain to him that the divorce is not his fault and assure him everything will be okay. There are books and songs that you can show the student so it give them something they can relate to.
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Solution #9
Making sure he has a space to talk to you or another faculty member at the school is crucial. Also, giving the student extra positive reinforcement when good behavior is seen and trying your best to keep him upbeat.

Finding a counselor for the student is a great idea.

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Solution #10
I would start by explaining to the student that he is not a bad kid and that the divorce was in no way his fault. I would also notify the parents that the student is putting this blame onto himself. I would provide the students with ways he can channel his negative feelings and also tell him he is always welcome to discuss his feelings with you or a school psychologist.

Notifying the parents is definitely a good idea. However, this may encourage more drama between the parents.

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Solution #11
Sit the student down one-on-one and have a conversation on his emotions. Let him know that he feels a certain way based on his emotions. We all have emotions and we all show them in different ways. Let him know that love is more important than anger. Try to get to the root of why he is feeling the way he is. Maybe get a school psychologist in there too.
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Solution #12
I would start by having a conversation with the student. Explain to the student that his parents divorce is not his fault and does not make him a bad kid. I would then follow setting up a meeting with the students parents and explain to them how their child is responding to the situation at home.
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Solution #13
I've had children in my class go through this and it really can change their behaviors. I would try to remind him though the situation isn't his fault, sometimes in life there are things we can't control but it's how we deal with them that matters. I would assure him he's not a bad kid, he's just going through a tough time and anytime he needs to talk about it to me he can.
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Solution #14
Make sure the child is receiving emotional support for the divorce. Often children think they are the cause pf problems at hme. This student just needs extra love.
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Solution #15
As the teacher I would try to be there as much as I could to help them educational. The student isn't bad they are just going through a tough time in their life right now.
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Solution #16
Personally, I have experience with my parents being divorced. I would not want to share my personal life with the student but I think it is important to show students that divorce is a normal thing. It would also be helpful to have the student talk to the guidance counselor, who can help with these behaviors and conversations.
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Solution #17
A one on one chat can make a big difference in allowing a child to communicate his/her feelings. As a child of divorce myself, I know that I really appreciated my teacher being a support system for me.
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Solution #18
As a teacher you can try to give him a little extra support and comfort. You can ask him why he thinks he is a bad kid. He may be dealing with fighting at home due to parents divorce and saying he is causing issues. You can see if your school has a therapist or counselor to help him deal with the feelings he is going though.
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Solution #19
As a divorce parent victim the best way to help the student is to be a figure towards him. He's lost all stability and what he needs is someone to either talk too or look up too. By being that figure in his life that might be missing and building a personal connection the student will not only do better in class but will forever be in your gratitude.
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Solution #20
I think you should let the student know hat they are not a bad kid. I would also let the student know you are here for them and if they need to talk.
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Solution #21
I would refer him to the guidance counselor, I don't feel as if it would be appropriate to discuss during class time. I would also reach out to the parents to let them know about their child's behavior during class.
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Solution #22
Reassure that the student knows its not his fault

If need be I would provide more resources like a school guidance counselor to help the student get through this.

A guidance counselor is definitely a great idea.

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