Case
My Child Does Not Do This At Home

There is a child in my class that is extremely smart. However, he is very sneaky and I catch him playing and being disruptive all day long. It has become a huge problem because I have to stop instruction every few minutes to redirect the behavior. When I talk to the mother she is just floored. She just does not understand how her child can be acting this way when he is so good for her at home. I do know that he is the only child. I have tried to figure out why he may be acting out and I was thinking that maybe it is because he is adjusting to being around other kids and in the "classroom" environment. Now, the mother is wanting to come in while I am teaching and observe to see how he is acting. I don't know how to tell her this but I just do not think that it will help. What are some ways I can handle this situation?

Posted on: 10/16/14 | Views: 1378
Solution #1
Top Solution
First and foremost I think it is important to tell the mother positive things about her child as well as the negative things too. Parents do not want to hear how their child is continuously disrespecting and not following the classroom rules. Maybe relate with the parent and let her know that maybe the reason for this child's behavior is due to him being the only child and you feel he still has some socialization skills that need to be improved upon. Maybe suggest that she takes him around other children his age more often. For example, maybe enrolling him in karate or soccer, and get him used to following those rules and regulations.

I agree, parents do not want to hear the negative sides of their kids all the time. Start out with positive notes and possibly a funny story to ease the tension a little bit. I would encourage play dates among peers his own age that he has in common with. He will socially benefit and also his sel confidence will boost from playing with peers his own age.

I agree with positive feedback as well as addressing the issue. Great solution!

I think it is important to give the parent positives about the child as well. Suggesting to put the child in some other activities with his peers such as sports or Karate is a great suggestion.

Excellent suggestion! Activities!!

He might need something else to put all of his energy into.

I agree. It is importnat that this parent be assured that they will be more help outside the classroom, while also understanding that their student is likely just in need of a little extra help.

If I were in this situation, I would exactly do this.

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Solution #2
I agree her coming to observe him with not help. It would make things worse because he is getting his mom's attention and he will continue to misbehave to get his mom's attention at school. I would ask for your school councilor to talk to him and see if she can help. You could also try moving him to the front of the room next to the teacher or in an isolated area where he can't distract the other students/ I would try to convince the other students to ignore him.

Excellent suggestion!

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Solution #3
Having the parent come in is definitely a bad idea. Most of the kids would be distracted (depending on their age) with a new person in the room. Also the child may not misbehave when the parent is there. Try explaining this to her. You also had said that the child is very smart, it may just be that he is not getting enough stimulation in class and is just bored. Test his knowledge and see if maybe he needs to be moved to a more advanced class.
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Solution #4
This is tough! You're right, having mom coming in to observe will be more of a distraction for everyone. Maybe starting a sticker chart of something motivating to help encourage the child stay on task will help. Find out what gets this child going and run with it!

I am not sure that a sticker chart will change his behavior.

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Solution #5
Having the parent observe will be a distraction and the parent will likely continue to find reasons in the classroom why the child is misbehaving. Try these two things...give him plenty of positive praise when he is behaving appropriately and have a talk with the student discussing the behaviors and the consequences for them.
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Solution #6
I would let her come in to observe him. Afterwards, I would set up a meeting with the parent, the student, and a guidance counselor to get to the root of the issue. It may very well be that a behavior contract or some sort of incentive program could solve the problem.
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Solution #7
I think having the mom come in would defeat the purpose because chances are, the child is going to act perfectly while she is there. I would let her come observe, but I would also tell her this will be the likely outcome beforehand. I would then discuss with her that after the observation on a separate day, you are going to set up an iPad to video throughout the day. The children will not know it is rolling, and it will discreetly be placed on a back table or counter where it can cover most of the room. If nothing else, it can record conversations and redirections. This will give her a better idea of what is actually taking place each day. Then you two can sit down with the child and come up with a plan of action.

I would never do this. This is wrong.

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